10/23/08

Do You Respect To Your Child

. 10/23/08

The very concept of giving respect to someone 25-30 years younger to you, 5 feet smaller than you sounds weird, isn’t it? Well parents no matter how weird it may sound but the fact is that children do have self respect, irrespective of their size.

What does disrespecting your child mean?

Let’s explain this with the help of an example. I was preparing to doze off in the flight from London, when I heard the voice of a mother telling her daughter how much she was irritated by her behavior. She warned her to go to sleep or else she will have to face the consequences. The next moment the mother dragged the daughter by the arm to the front and told her to keep standing there and not come back. Her eyes met mine. She felt embarrassed. Not able to face the staring eyes of passengers, she quietly went back. After sometime, I found her sleeping and the mother obviously happy over her victory.

How crude can we be at times in our conduct with our children. We’ll scold them in the middle of everyone in the party. We’ll drag them in the mall. Worse, we’ll nonchalantly criticize them in a group using words like ‘fussy’, ‘irritable’, and ‘stubborn’ in their presence.

Do we act raw in a similar fashion while dealing with a situation with our family members, boss, friends or any body? Do we tell them on the face how bad they behave at times? Don’t we wait for the right time, the right place, and the right words to sort out a problem or a misunderstanding? Then why do we mete out such a treatment to our own children? We seek no private moment; don’t care what their state of mind is. We just go ahead with our thoughts as if they have no feelings or self-respect.

How does it affect your child?

When you treat children like nobody in public places, they actually feel disrespected. Their self-esteem does get shattered with your every harsh word. With this bruised self-esteem, there can possibly be no love and expression in your relationship with your child.

Hence treat your child like you treat any human being. Give him respect the way you give others. In case, you feel his behavior is unacceptable, take him in a corner and put across your point. You may have to be a little firm but you can do so as long as it is between you two. It is all right to share your views with close friends about how you feel about your child, but certainly not when he is around. Don’t ever mock or be satirical with him in front of others. When parents disrespect the child, he is bound to lose respect for them. And he’ll never be able to respect himself too.

How can giving respect transform the relationship with your child?

When you add the element of respect to the relationship with your child, your equation with him will change forever. Your approach in dealing with your child will mature and become positive. You’ll treat him not as someone weaker or less intelligent than you, but someone who needs your guidance to realize his true potential. Your communication, problem solving, understanding of your child will improve tremendously. You’ll see yourself empathizing with him. Now can you imagine how beautiful and strong will the bond with your child become?


You have loved your child always, now is the time to respect the person so precious in your life.

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