11/27/08

Be Wise Parent

. 11/27/08

We were all too little forward and we will certainly raise our children too little, as well. Our imperfections come with the territory and we can ill afford to be obsessed about them. The parenting component expert once quoted the French philosopher Voltaire, "The best is the enemy of the good." Thus, it is assumed that he meant that we can focus on things so perfect that we do not get things right.
Whatever we do, do not 'perfect'. We can never be perfect, but we have to do our best or even any trouble stabbing. Some parents are excellent role models, whose only children excel in behavior, support, confidence, attitude, politeness, you name it. But if we really look at the issue, we all know that this is too good to be true.
Our expectations of our children can make a big difference in their education. If they see that we only look at the output of low quality, that is what they will bring. It is human nature. We adapt the work to the expectations in our place of work. If the expectations are low, then our effort and the output is low, too.
An important point here is the school and study. We can also go the other extreme and say that school is all that matters, which are all qualities that matter. Some children have even trouble to the idea that their parents' love for them depends on how high their grades are.
Grades are numbers or letters that we use to keep score. They are, at best, indicators of something - perhaps success, intelligence, effort, ground, character, etc. Maybe they are just like the other positive numbers in our lives - assets, salary, relationships, the securities portfolio, ROI , Etc. They mean something, but ultimately they are numbers and things.
So if we tell our children that we expect them to do well in their studies, we tell them the limits of qualities. Grades are not everything, but they are not empty words. They also make for success. We do not just set expectations, then sit back and wait for them to deliver the goods. We have them to equip, support, guide and supervise them.
There are parents who do not want their children to have a difficult life the way they did. This usually comes from parents who are something of himself against all odds, a hopelessly poor background. The stories are true: walk to school and skip meals because of lack of money, and extends what they had done little skimping on everything, making the best of a sub-quality education, all of which their parents could afford.
These parents lived the American writer William Faulkner said when he said that the poor know the joy and despair of a penny and found a penny lost. They had no nest eggs from their parents to start their graduation. They fixed their sights on what they can do rather than wallow in self pity or shame.
Parents in this thorny issue have lost sight of how hardships shaped their lives for the better and taught to be tough, resilient, resourceful, hardworking, and demands on themselves. The desire to spare their children the bitterness is understandable, but misdirected.
These lessons can be a real well-packaged brand values to their children. We all know what the value of story telling, but we can take and sound boastful or we can give the impression that the lesson is we stick to our children to trounce on cue.
It is never too early to think about the future of our children. Good parents are aware that the education of the children are adults. We have our eyes on the goal and not be distracted by noise, nor by our own shortcomings.

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